Okay, I've heard enough excuses to fill a boat and sail it to Morocco, right?

You are selling the greatest product ever invented, religion.

You can't sell that?

Well, then you're a piece of s**t.

A piece of s**t on the bottom of a turd shoe.

Okay, so here's what we're gonna do, ladies. We're gonna pull up our hoops skirts.

You're gonna get on your scooters. You're gonna put your little T-set away.

We're gonna go down the lipstick store, put lipstick all over us.

Get some nice eye shadow in case Chad Huntly is at the park because he's the cutest boy.

And he wants everyone to notice him, doesn't he?

Wipe your tears with your little apron, then take your tutu off, get back on your tricycle,

and ride away, and sell me some books.

T-B-T-L!

Oh, these are uncomfortable chairs.

Oh, yeah, sitting. The great leveler from the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant.

Who doesn't enjoy a good sit?

That's a pretty boring story. I wouldn't tell that to anyone else.

Yeah, I could feel it going south as I said it.

Could you crawl back out of my mind?

If I were sitting at home and watching this, I'd be inclined to turn it off.

Well, I've got to run. I can hear the blender crying.

Coming, baby!

...