Episode 188: Solo Episode: One of our members was murdered last week

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Education, Self-improvement, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.4 • 574 Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2022

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

October 1st marked the beginning of domestic violence awareness month. On September 30th, I learned that a member of my Facebook community was murdered by her boyfriend, who then turned the gun on himself. There are 11 murder-suicides rooted in domestic violence per week in the United States, so I decided to focus this week's episode on the epidemic of domestic violence and shed light on it with some of my thoughts on how we can attempt to move beyond this in our society. Unfortunately, when I am educating victims, it is already too late.

In this episode, I talk about spreading awareness about raising our children to express their pain and feelings in a safe way, what to do if a co-parent is exhibiting toxic behavior, and the importance of educating yourself on domestic violence and abusive patterns or behaviors.

Episode highlights:

If you are in a toxic relationship where you feel unsafe, create a safety plan before you leave. 75% of domestic homicides occur when a person leaves an abusive relationship.
I share precisely how to create a safety plan
The importance of healing and doing trauma work after getting out of an abusive relationship

Resources & Links:

Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-one-of-our-members-was-murdered-last-week

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or TheHotline.org
Non-violent parenting classes
Safety plan outline
Leanne Oaten

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go.
0:17.8	I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of
0:23.3	the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to
0:29.1	hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process
0:35.1	with your sanity and your heart intact.
0:44.3	Hey everyone. Welcome back. This week marks the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
0:52.5	On the day before, so September 30th, whatever day that was last week,
0:58.3	I was alerted by a member of my Facebook group that another one of our members was murdered. And she was killed by her boyfriend in a murder suicide. I have since
1:18.7	learned that there are 11 murder suicides rooted in domestic violence per week in the U.S.
1:33.4	So I was going to have a different episode today, but I decided that I wanted to spend a little
1:42.0	time with this. And there are a few things that I want to
1:47.1	talk about. You know, in this woman's situation, I don't know the details of her story very much.
1:54.4	I will tell you what I do know. She was a member of our group. She was not active. She had never
2:00.2	posted. She had never posted.
2:07.6	She'd never shared her story, which did not mean that she wasn't participating and listening and learning.
2:13.8	I do know that she had divorced her husband in the time that she was in the group, I believe.
2:16.8	And she had embarked on a new relationship.
2:20.0	She had ended that relationship.
2:30.4	It was the boyfriend, um, who killed her and then himself. She had three small children.
2:38.8	Very small. She was only 29, by the way. And I believe he had children too. I'm just guessing from looking at her Facebook and her photos that showed the two of them together
2:48.8	with, I think, like, five or six kids.
2:52.8	So I'm assuming that the other ones were hers, were his.
	...

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