What is he doing here?

Well first off, Chet's my best non-sexual friend. He can come over whenever he wants.

Yeah, we're friends, but we never touch ends.

And second of all, this is all for your birthday, so don't you feel like a major major dingus?

I'm sorry, that's very sweet. That's very sweet. It is. It's very nice of you to do.

It's his happy birthday, Consuela.

Oh yeah, that hurts my fault. I was in charge of frosting, but then as I was decorating,

I slipped into a daydream about Consuela, the woman that I lost my virginity too.

Whenever her eyes was a marble, or in her language, marble.

I'm starting my own podcast. Hey, that could be fun.

This is off topic just a bit, but do you mind if I borrow one or two of your sperms?

Would you say that to Tom Petty?

What is that? Helvetica again? What a surprise. Can't throw in any sentry

Gothic every once in a while. What are we, animals?

You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter.

You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter.

You're a messy little person, ain't you?

When do we get to sing? It's raining, man. Hallelujah. It's raining, man.

You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty, would you?

Hey folks, welcome to a Wednesday afternoon edition of TBTL,

the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Ready to laugh and drop, please, socks, come on.

...