Episode 179: Why Did a Church Put a Marital Rape Victim under Church Discipline?

Bare Marriage

Sheila Gregoire

Marriage, Social Sciences, Science, Relationships, Sex, Christianity, Wife, Religion & Spirituality, Mother, Society & Culture, Advice, Family

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2023

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today I want to tell you the story of an amazing woman who was the victim of her marriage AND her church that knew all the gory details, and yet chose to put her under discipline when she decided to end the marriage.

TRIGGER WARNING

In the first half of the podcast there is graphic descriptions of what her husband did to her. I did mention during the podcast when this was about to occur, so that people could fast forward if they chose to. But the description is horrendous. I wanted people to know what she was facing, and to understand her pastor knew this too.

NOTE ON NEURODIVERGENCE

Part of this woman’s story, she believes, is her husband’s lack of diagnosis for autism, which she believes contributed to his inability and unwillingness to see things from her perspective.

Plenty of autistic people are able to relate emotionally with their spouses, even if they do it in different ways. And they value connecting.

What is shared in this podcast is merely her story, and we understand that it is not the case with many neurodivergent people, who can have loving marriages.

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Our new Fixed It for You Workbook! It’s selling so well, and it’s still on for just $4.99–until Monday!
The marital rape posts in our original series: The 2 kinds of rape; what to do if you’re a victim of marital rape; 5 next steps if you realize you’ve coerced your wife into sex
Kate Shellnutt’s article in Christianity Today about John MacArthur’s church’s further abuse of women, and Julie Roys’ account about Eileen Gray that broke the story.
My commentary from last week about the John MacArthur situation

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Bear Marriage Podcast. I'm Sheila Ray Greg.
0:13.7	We're from Bear Marriage.com where we like to talk about healthy evidence-based
0:17.0	biblical advice for your sex life and your marriage. And I am joined today by my husband Keith.
0:22.1	Hey everybody.
0:23.1	We are on the road traveling.
0:24.9	We're doing some speaking.
0:26.3	Well, actually, by the time this airs,
0:27.6	we will have finished our speaking events
0:30.1	at North Point Church in Woodstock, Georgia, so that's exciting for Valentine's Day.
0:34.9	But honey, you are talking to a best-selling Amazon author.
0:39.3	Yes, I'm so proud of you, that's great.
0:41.2	I know, our fixed it for you book launched last week. 30
0:45.3	fixed it for you's these maims that I do all over Instagram and I put them up on my
0:50.4	blog on Facebook where I take some outrageous quote that an evangelical
0:55.2	pastor author has said a quote that is making people question God's goodness that is
1:00.8	making people question whether God loves women.
1:03.7	And I change it to be something in line with what Jesus believes.
1:08.1	And so I've got 30 of those in a book,
1:10.3	along with discussion questions and red flag recognition tools so that you can
1:16.6	level up your discernment. It's it's just an awesome way to bring home some of the
1:21.6	things that you are learning on the Bear Marriage
1:23.6	podcast and it's only 499. Yeah, we get to number one in Christian
	...

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