Episode 174: Don't Use These Terms! Words and Phrases to Avoid When Getting Divorced with Christina McGhee

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Kate Anthony

Education, Self-improvement, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.4 • 574 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2022

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Christina McGhee is back on the show! She joins me to talk about the language we use around divorce, co-parenting, and raising our children. The language we use can be damaging to our children, so this is such an important conversation to have and I hope you get a lot out of listening to it. In fact, even as a professional in this space, I have recently learned how to shift my language about divorce topics. Words matter and the way we convey our ideas do too.

Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. Whether she is speaking, coaching, or writing her goal is to disrupt the status quo, and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways.

Show Highlights

The way we talk about co-parenting with children by using the term "visitation" and why it's a terrible term to use (5:53)
When parents focus on what's "fair" for them, children internalize that their actions must be "fair" in order to make their parents feel ok (12:05)
What is wrong with the word custody, how it affects children, and why parenting time is a better term to use (21:10)
When we talk about equitable time-sharing arrangements, we are talking about equal responsibility, plus Christina talks about the off-duty and on-duty parenting model (26:57)
Why treating time with children as a commodity (50/50, 60/40, etc.) is damaging (39:59)
What is wrong with referring to your co-parent as your ex (51:53)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go.
0:17.8	I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate some of
0:23.3	the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. I've been to
0:29.1	hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side of this process
0:35.1	with your sanity and your heart intact.
0:45.3	Hey everyone. Welcome back. I am super excited to bring you this episode with my dear friend,
0:58.6	the magical, wonderful, ever so incredibly smart, Christina McGee. You have heard her on the podcast before talking all things kids,
1:06.2	how to tell your kids that you're getting divorced, how to help your kids through the process.
1:11.6	All things, kids.
1:13.2	Christina has a master's in social work, and she is an internationally recognized
1:18.9	divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author.
1:22.6	She runs a co-parenting specialist training.
1:26.8	I was certified by her very recently.
1:30.2	And I can't tell you how much I learn from her every single time we talk.
1:35.0	Truly, her book, Parenting Apart, How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise
1:40.6	Happy and Secure Kids is one of the best. Please get it. Get it today. Do not hesitate. Do not pass. Go. Do not collect
1:49.9	$200. Just get her book. In her book, she offers parents practical strategies for dealing with
1:57.3	the real life everyday challenges of co-parenting.
2:03.3	And whether she's speaking, coaching, or writing,
2:08.7	Christina's goal is to disrupt the status quo and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways.
2:13.8	And that is what this conversation is about today.
2:17.8	It's about disrupting the status quo and disrupting the language that we use around divorce.
	...

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