I'm Floyd Brown. I'm the executive director of the Young America's Foundation.

I'm Diana Ho, and I was one of the founders of the media division of the American Psychological Association.

My name is Kevin Beacon, for those of you who need an introduction. I am an award-winning journalist.

I've won a local Emmy, but in truth, I'm just a gypsy, tumbling around the globe, chasing truth,

which is, as you know, quick-silver. The more you try to grasp it, the more it slips through your

hands. The news, because I am the face of it in Spokane, Washington, is my life, my lover,

my mistress, my best friend, and I will fight to the death to defend it. And with that, I relinquish

to you, Mr. Chair. T-B-T-L!

Hi, I'm Chuck Wallery, and I'm here to talk to you about catheters.

Describe that man to me again. Well, I already told you that he was big and ugly,

like a monster in the movie. I mean, these guys aren't really my friends, you know,

I barely know their names. I mean, I know Carlos, but only because of that old song,

Carlos, the tickle monster. Wait, what song is that? Oh god, I knew he made that up,

but it did help me remember. I would rather have sex with someone because they thought I was

someone else than not have sex with someone because they thought I was me. It's not easy being

drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy. Wow, that reminds me of a show we recorded.

Just last Friday. Okay, onward into the breach. Here we go. This is not Friday's show. This is a

Monday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L. This, as you know, is the program that just might be too

beautiful to live. I feel happy on myself. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. This is episode

1,737 in a collector's suit. You never kick a cow turd on a hot day. Zero chance of that

happening on this program today because it's a rainy, rainy, dark, cold day here in the small

maritime village of Port Towns in Washington. Nevertheless, we will bring you what we think is the

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