It's good, you know. Something to do at night. There's nothing to do at night. What can you do at night?

Bowling movies. It's like a third thing to do after bowling in the movies. I don't know if you ball or not. I don't go that often.

But it's fun. It's fun. You can't find a ball. That's the problem. I don't know. Maybe you won't bowling well. I don't want a bowling ball.

My whole life every time I'm in a bowling alley sticking my fingers in all these holes, picking up the balls.

You gotta get your own ball.

I would like to be president someday, so no, I've not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once.

I had a party in college. It was intense. It's kind of indescribable actually. I felt like I was floating.

Turns out there wasn't any pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

Well, with all due respect, I mean, I hate to admit this, but I mean, I don't think I've been online in, you know, a couple days or weeks or whatever.

So that's really an unimportant thing to me. I face your face, instant face. Go talk to whoever you want. It does that stuff. I don't know.

You know, I am so tired of going on days where I have to listen to guys go on and on about how they're turning their Twitter feeds into blogs, their blogs into books, their books into Twitter feeds.

It's exhausting. Stop pretending that your podcast is work, right?

The hell is in charge of these audio intros.

Because that right there, well, tell you, somebody who's in charge of an imaginary radio show, that is untrue, my friends.

And you're going to hear just how untrue it is because of all the work we've put into today's Wednesday afternoon edition of TVTL.

This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.

My name is Luke Bermank. I am your host. This is episode 1,625 in a collector series.

It could be worse, but I'm not sure how.

And we've got a bunch of stuff that we want to talk about with you, including...

Hi, this is Luke's Mom Susie coming tonight on TVTL.

A top story's segment that is heavy on the sport, but we think it's sport stories that even non-sport people will find interesting, including some outtakes from Mike Ditka back in the 90s.

...