I just noticed something that in one of your interviews with John Candy

I believe it looked like an older interview if you had less hair than you have

today. How do you explain that? I don't wear a wig, sir. Paint your bald spot. What

bald spot? You paint your bald spot? I don't know what you're talking about sir. My hair

grows. You paint your bald spot. I don't have a bald spot. How come you had less hair on the tape?

Maybe my hair grew. Maybe I had a bad haircut that day. By the way, something. Where

do you care? Paint your bald spot. I don't. Do you paint your bald spot? Paint your

bald spot? You sick. TVTL!

You've heard the late night comedians. You've heard the critics. You've heard about

the pundits. You've heard the criticism and the counselors. Now tonight I want you

to listen to me. Found a feces in a chair. No. No. The incident report

needs to be really, really specific. What else should I put? Well, for starters, it's

not a feces. It's just feces. But it wasn't a game. It was just one piece. But you

bet there's no singular form for feces. It's not feces or feces. It's just feces. The

director's guild of America will bring down its swift sort of justice on you rank amateurs.

You guys did a good job tonight. I can't wait to do it for real. That was a good warm

up. Very good warm up. Come on. What are you waiting for? This is the show where you're

going to find out what the pundits have to say about a feces or two. It is a Wednesday afternoon

slash evening edition of TVTL. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. Shame

on everybody involved. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host at episode 1,585 in a

collector series. Can you verify? Can you give me some 4-1-1? Oh man, we've got all

kinds of 4-1-1 that we're going to send your way on this Wednesday. I'm coming to you,

...