Episode 156 - Dick on Being Fair

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2019

⏱️ 150 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A virtual planet of the apes, the WHO invents a video games disease, many new contestants on "Ask Your Mom, Wife, or Girlfriend when the Following Five Wars Happened: The Revolutionary War, The Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, and Vietnam", things only 90s kids will remember: Vietnam, the effects of short avatars on the brain, playing as the chick in video games, the rejection of post foam and construction Amish, premature ejaculators, being a fireman, Chris the Kiwi describes his dream date with Dr. Rachel, and taking all weddings out of children's programming; all that and more on this week's episode of The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Over the line.
0:02.0	Mark at zero.
0:04.0	Market zero.
0:05.0	You know Walter Sobchek, a veteran of the Vietnam War, which according to most women,
0:10.0	who never forgets the Holocaust.
0:12.0	Which according to most women
0:13.3	in the 1990s.
0:15.5	Oh wow.
0:16.5	What did you find a poll or something?
0:18.0	Oh, well, you know my game show that's sweeping the nation.
0:22.0	It's called Dick's Life. It's called it's called ask your mom your
0:26.1	wife or your girlfriend when the following five wars happen. Oh no your mom
0:30.2	your mom had to know though. No, nobody, no woman threw it.
0:35.0	Vietnam? You think that, but none of them fucking know. They cannot.
0:40.0	My mom remembers that she was in junior high school when Kennedy was shot.
0:44.0	I mean she remembers it vividly.
0:46.0	Kennedy.
0:47.0	Of course every chick knows where they were at home fingering their beans every time he was on.
0:52.0	But the thing the thing was though was like Vietnam was just a... fingering their beans every time he was on.
0:52.6	But the thing was, though, was like,
0:54.1	Vietnam was just a few, was a few years later.
0:57.1	Yeah.
	...

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