Episode 146: The Burden of Parenting - Part Two

Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Kenneth Wilgus, PhD, P.C.

Christian Parenting, Christianity, Teens, Education, Teenagers, Kids, Kids & Family, Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Adolescents, How To, Parenting Teens, Parents

4.9 • 714 Ratings

🗓️ 12 September 2023

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we conclude our discussion of "parenting" as the term has come to imply some "inside track" of parental knowledge that can, supposedly, guarantee a happy and successful kid. Dr. Ken shares the truth that not only is this burden carried mostly by moms but actually by middle-class, white moms. At least that's what New York Times columnist Ylonda Gault Caviness says. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/03/opinion/sunday/what-black-moms-know.html Carrying too much of this parenting burden can even result in adult children who blame parents when they should be taking responsibility for their own actions. Now, more than ever, Feeding The Mouth parents need to actively push back against these false expectations that leave too many parents feeling guilty and fearful. Maybe "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" T-shirts? Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1 Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, a weekly podcast guide on parenting teens
0:12.8	and launching them into the world. I'm Jessica Pfeiffer, and as always, I'm joined by psychologist
0:18.3	and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus. Today we're going to pick up where
0:22.4	we left off on the last episode. We talked about the burden of parenting, and we're going to
0:26.9	continue on today. You know, I just think that there are so many things that we've been taught
0:31.8	that A plus B equals C, and that is not true for parenting. And it's really hard as a mom to carry that burden
0:38.7	thinking that if you protect your kid, if you do all these things, if you sign up your kid for
0:43.6	Latin lessons and violin and all the other things that they're going to turn out a certain way.
0:49.2	Yes. And you could even think about if you want to be very clear about it, it's the burden of many moms,
0:56.1	but it's actually particularly the burden of middle-class moms. There was this great New York Times
1:03.1	article by Yolanda Galt Kavanaugh called What Black Moms Know. And she makes this great point
1:10.2	about feeling bad for the white moms that she
1:13.7	knows, these middle class women that, you know, worry about every interaction that they've had. She
1:19.5	said, I feel sorry for them. You know, those mothers, the highly informed, professionally accomplished,
1:24.4	usually white women who judging by the mommy blog fodder, daytime TV and new parenting guides lining store shelves are apparently panicking all day every day over modern child rearing and everything that comes with it.
1:38.3	Anyway, and she just goes on to say, you know, I'm grateful I'm a black mom. Like many of my fellow sisters, I don't have time
1:45.3	for all that foolishness. Our charge is to raise, notice, I did not say parent, our children in a way
1:51.1	that prepares them for a world that at best may well overlook their awesomeness and at worst may seek
1:57.7	to destroy it. I just love the, you know, the you know, the battle that's going on in this world,
2:06.5	you don't have time for this esoteric, hey, I can, you know, have every great interaction with
2:13.3	my child so they'll live this life that floats above the world.
2:16.8	We don't have time for that.
	...

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