Episode 138: Surviving The Amazon, Thrift Store Shockers, & An Indigenous Witch Encounter

Madigan's Pubcast

Kathleen Madigan

Madigan, Comedy:stand-up, Standup, Society & Culture, Kathleen Madigan, Comedy, Stand-up

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 June 2023

⏱️ 81 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kathleen opens the show drinking a Michelob Golden Light draft lager.

QUEEN NEWS: Kathleen reports that Queen Dolly Parton has set a new Guinness World Record, Taylor Swift has finally broken up with Matty Healy, and Tanya Tucker sold out 2 shows at the Grand Ole Opry to promote the release of her latest album “Sweet Western Sound.”

“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for delicious not-so-nutritious food, Kathleen samples Doritos Hot Mustard chips and Tessemae’s Habanero Ranch dressing.

UPDATES: Kathleen gives updates on Pablo Escobar’s cocaine hippos, and LIV Golf vs the PGA Tour,

“HOLY SHIT THEY FOUND IT”: Kathleen is amazed to read about the discovery of a Stone Age dagger unearthed by a Norwegian girl, evidence of a creature larger than an elephant washes up in California, a woman buys a Picasso in a thrift store for $6, and a Ming Dynasty box is found in an attic and sells for $350K.

FRONT PAGE PUB NEWS: Kathleen shares articles on Duggar-affiliated Christian organization IBLP, Carnival Cruise line’s recent Nightmare cruise out of Charleston SC, 4 children missing for 40 days are found alive in the Amazon jungle, a Carnival cruise ship endures 11-straight hours of pure hell off the coast of Charleston, and a Canadian nurse captured “witches” eating a deer carcass on her trail cam.

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS: In business news, Walgreens unveils a Chicago store with only 2 aisles and most products kept out of sight.

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK: Kathleen recommends watching “Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets” on Amazon, and her new stand-up Special “Hunting Bigfoot” on Prime Video.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everybody, it's me, Kathleen Madigan. Welcome to Madigan's Pubcast. You grab
0:12.9	yourself a drink, pull up a bar stool, and let's talk about what's been going on.
0:17.4	Termites. Welcome. Episode 138. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, there's a lot going on. There's a
0:36.0	lot of stuff on my desk going on. There's a lot of stuff in general. I'm taping this a little
0:40.8	early in the morning, but not too early for a golden light. Now this beer, this is an entire
0:48.0	bush product. So for everybody that wants to cry about buttlight, then you probably don't want
0:52.1	this one either, but golden light, it's a little thicker, but delicious. Another product of
0:58.7	St. Louis, Missouri, and I don't know if it's available everywhere. No, just a Missouri.
1:05.0	But in honor of me spending my entire off time in Missouri, I'm going to do some Missouri beers,
1:11.5	shout out, but I am going to the Mirage June 24th, and then I'll tell you about other things,
1:15.9	but that one is on the coming up. So that'll be fun. Yeah, because like I need an excuse to stay
1:22.9	inside and play video poker, but I'm sure it's going to be 124. I'll make it over to Margarita
1:28.7	to build to that second story bar to watch people on this trip for maybe two hours at the most.
1:36.9	Why don't we go on and hear so many things? Well, first of all, a few things from Termites,
1:40.8	because I still haven't made a post office box. I know it's pathetic, and the ladies are going
1:46.5	to start yelling at me. They know I never get mad, but they'll be like, girl, I don't know where
1:53.8	you banned, but you got shit everywhere. That's at the post office. Donna and Teresa sent some
1:59.9	big-foot bandages. I'll be taking those straight to my parents. Yeah, and it makes me laugh,
2:05.5	because if I put them all over their arms, they don't notice. Well, like if they say, do you have a
2:10.6	bandaid? I go, yeah, I do. And they don't even know, because they can't see good enough. They
2:13.8	don't even know that they're walking around big-foot bandaid. Then this is very interesting.
2:18.8	West, the Termite, from Indiana, sent me a Banksy movie. And here's a great thing. West,
	...

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