Episode #1322: Patton Oswalt, Officially Crushing It

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2013

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

TBTL bestows the "Crushing It" award on Patton Oswalt, whose facebook essay about the Boston Marathon Bombing and improvised Star Wars movie plot on Parks and Recreation were stellar this week.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Have you made any sales today?
0:02.8	Oh, you are angry.
0:04.9	I like that.
0:06.8	If I got divorced, I'd probably be pretty angry, too.
0:09.2	First, I'd have to get married, but then if I'd get divorced.
0:11.5	You need to get back on the man horse, right?
0:14.9	Because I think I know a certain horse man
0:17.0	that might want to take you out for a truck.
0:20.1	Are you seriously hitting on me right now?
0:22.3	No!
0:24.7	No, I'm not.
0:25.6	That was my horse impression, saying no.
0:27.6	TVTL!
0:33.3	So, I've got a very special story for you guys today.
0:38.1	It's about the time that I got in a fight,
0:40.9	because I said that I was going to marry a cartoon character
0:45.2	that some other girl said that she was going to marry.
0:48.7	A man had to break through a human barricade
0:51.6	in order to seize two oranges that were meant to symbolize
0:55.4	this testicles.
0:57.0	He was then frenetically instructed
0:58.7	to squeeze the juice from them and drink them
	...

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