Good evening. In less than an hour, I will be joining other women from around town.

And we will be participating in the earliest Black Friday, ever in the history of mankind.

Mankind. That word should bring meaning to all of us today.

Is that the monologue for Independence Day?

Yes, Nate. Parts of it.

Okay.

I actually pity those poor women that I'm going up against.

I got what I do.

Because I am not going to just whip the portable DVD players out of their hands.

No, I am going to cut the living guts out of them.

And I'm going to use them to grease the treads of my CRB.

This is from Patel.

You bet your old wrinkly ass. It's from Patel.

This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end.

That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.

It's a lot of things about me. You don't know anything about Daddy.

Things he wouldn't understand. Things he couldn't understand.

Things he shouldn't understand.

I don't understand.

We will all remember this moment for the rest of our lives.

It was dramatic. It was visual. It was stupid. It was stupid.

But it was also theater.

...