Took you one minute and twelve seconds to tell one joke. It's too long.

No, I didn't. I didn't.

Comedy is about timing, son.

Timing. You got to get him. You got to tell him.

Work on your speed.

TVTL

You come out. You say hello. You start the show. Here's the show. What's the mystery?

It all people think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the McDonald's.

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

What is going on? What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on? A thunder blizzard hurricane.

Let's get to the good stuff here.

Let's get to it. Let's gather around it. Let's get into it over it and through it. That's right folks.

It is a Tuesday afternoon edition of TVTL the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

What causes diarrhea? It is one of the greatest mysteries in the scientific world.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with f**k mountain.

And this is episode 1,181 in a collector series if memory serves on today's program. Well, there's no reason to dance around it. It's going to be an email frenzy.

Here I go once again with the email every week. I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, not from a female.

That's right. We've had hundreds of emails backing up over the course of the last month.

And we were going to read them yesterday. We didn't get to them.

And so today I figured let's just dedicate the entire show to reading some of your emails. Helping me out with that will be this young man.

I met a guy yesterday. Seven feet tall. Yeah, handsome. Great big guy. Seven feet tall.

I also met Andrew Walsh yesterday. I was standing next to that tall manly handsome man.

...