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The Panpsycast Philosophy Podcast

Episode 118, Romantic Love (Part III - Sad Love)

The Panpsycast Philosophy Podcast

Jack Symes | Andrew Horton, Oliver Marley, and Rose de Castellane

Education, Philosophy, Society & Culture, Courses

4.8612 Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2023

⏱️ 45 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Introduction

I was told not to think too much about love. Obsess over it, let it dye the very fabric of my being: but do not think about it. Why, after all, would I want to overanalyse the magic and mystery? Would this not reduce a storybook to words and pages?

I was told that I was incomplete and was to search for another who would make me whole. This search, I was promised, would lead me to a partner I would love and be happy with forever. And are love and happiness not required for a good life?

Yet, these demands, these stories, and these questions feel restrictive and misleading. Why must I not think about what you say is so important? Why must I believe a story I have seen end in tears countless time?

It is time we started taking control of love rather than letting love control us. There is no one size fits all approach given to us by nature: not everyone finds 'the one', not everyone wants to find the one, and not all relationships need to last.

Imagine the lives we could craft if we loved proactively, with honesty and freedom. If we all did this together, we could choose what we wanted and not be pressured into what we've been told is good. And given the importance of love, is this not worth a try, even if the magic fades?


Contents

Part I. Happily Ever After

Part II. What Love Is

Part III. Sad Love

Part IV. Further Analysis and Discussion


Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Pan, pan, psychist.

0:04.0

Part three, Sad Love.

0:22.1

So in our previous installment, we spoke about how our ideas of love and what we experienced to be love is shaped by one of, if not two, different forces.

0:35.1

The biology behind what gives rise to these loving experiences and why we

0:40.1

begin to love in the first place, what might think. The reason why we love says those who think

0:45.3

that love is grounded in biology is for the purposes of reproduction, for the purposes of continuing

0:50.2

the species, and that's why you fall head over heels for that special somebody. And then we've

0:55.3

got the social constructivists who say that our ideas of love are shaped by what society teaches

1:01.1

us, by what we see in the newspaper stands on the front page of Cosmo, listening to music on the

1:07.9

radio and watching rom-coms at the cinema. And that's where we get our ideas

1:13.0

of love from. Now, in this installment, we're not just going to be talking about what love is,

1:18.6

but we're going to be moving from the descriptive of what it is to the aught, what love could or should

1:24.2

be. But before we do that, we just want to give Carrie Jenkins's ultimate view

1:28.7

in what love is, which is a bridging of these two views, the biological and the social.

1:34.5

And she says, love is ancient biological machinery embodying a modern social role. Could we say,

1:42.7

what does that mean exactly? Yeah, so she proposes how love's

1:46.7

dual nature fits together with the analogy of a actor playing a role. So she says, quote,

1:52.1

some of our ancient, evolved biological machinery, a collection of neural pathways and chemical

1:57.8

responses, is currently playing the starring role of a romantic love in a show called Modern Society.

2:03.6

So in this show we can see things about the character, how it structures society, how we create love in the process.

2:10.6

And this can be studied by the humanities and the social sciences and it's localized in a time and in a place.

2:16.6

And we can also see things about the actor. So that's how

...

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