Episode 115 Teaser - Ben's Asse

Chapo Trap House

News

4.6 • 9.1K Ratings

🗓️ 7 June 2017

⏱️ 1 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We read from Ben Asse's book about giving your children away to old people to teach them how to do the dishes. Listen here: www.patreon.com/posts/episode-115-feat-11618494

Transcript

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0:00.0	So he says, my wife Melissa and I have three children, ages 6 to 15.
0:05.2	We don't have any magic bullets to help them make the transition from dependence to
0:09.2	self-sustaining adulthood because there aren't any.
0:12.0	Wait, put a marker in that.
0:15.0	Magic bullets that help you raise your kids.
0:18.0	Yeah, that's a really weird metaphor is this.
0:20.0	Yeah, we don't, yeah, we don't have any magic cages that we can lock our kids.
0:25.0	I don't have any magic gun. I can shoot my kid in the head and kill him.
0:28.5	Yeah, I wish there was a...
0:29.5	I don't have a magic bucket of water I can pour over my child's face and make them feel like they're drowning so that they do the danger.
0:37.7	Oh, when I was a kid, they had the adults had a special gun that they'd shoot us with and it was called the
0:43.6	chore gun and you would think you were dying but you would come to in the hospital
0:49.0	and you had done all your chores. Yeah. We don't have any. We don't have any magic bullets left because Ted Cruz's dad
0:57.9	already used it to kill Kennedy. Ha ha ha!

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