Greetings dear listeners, that's right listeners. I'm trying a bit of an experiment here where

I'm going to try and deliver an audio version of the G-File. I'm actually sitting, you might have heard that sound. I am sitting in my car, smoking a cigar, in a covered parking garage near a safe way, where I've actually written a great number of G-Files in a big chunk of my book. And we're going to try this as an audio G-File. I have no idea if it'll work. Frankly, at this point since this is like my fourth take already, I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do this.

I have no idea if I'll even complete this. That said, a bunch of people have asked for it and I think it's kind of a nifty idea. And it's a cool way of sort of expanding the menu of stuff for the Remnant Podcast. And if it's super successful, maybe we'll start it as sort of a separate thing, who knows, or maybe this will be the last one ever. I'm leaning towards the last one ever right now, but we'll see. So here you go.

I'm torn about this whole took over the airports thing. In case you're often enjoying life away from the noise machine, President Trump said that great American patriots seized the British airports during the Revolutionary War.

On the one hand, it was a pretty great flood, which will be blown out of proportion just like Obama's Corpsemen Promptures screw up was.

On the other hand, these things happen. Reading a Prompture in the Rain is probably hard. On the other hand, and yes, when writing this quote-unquote newsletter, I have more hands than I need, but not as many as I want, that's one reason why you practice important speeches. So a misread is less likely.

Yet, on another hand, I just want it to be true. I mean, if we're supposed to believe the ancient Egyptians could fly, why couldn't the Brits of the Founding Fathers? And on one final hand, even if it's not true, I'd like to pretend it was.

Rick Conning and other forms of updating or reimagining old stories have been commonplace in popular culture for a while now. If not forever, that's probably inevitable when there are literally tens or hundreds of billions of dollars stored up in very old IP. If Bruce Wayne was never reimagined, he'd be an 80 year old beating the bingo caller with his hurricane when he's not looking for his glasses to reread Atlas Shrug.

If Peter Parker didn't keep getting rebooted, he'd be like Steve Bouchemi saying, how do you do fellow kids? It's also why popular characters almost never die.

Shrug says the couch. If you took the end of Infinity War, seriously, you'd have to believe that Disney willingly erased billions of dollars of product from their catalog for dramatic effect.

This too has a long tradition of existence. When Arthur Conan Doyle killed off Sherlock Holmes by having him plunge off Reichenbach Falls, the public outcry was so great Doyle had to later claim Holmes faked his own death.

Steampunk politics. Speaking of Holmes, I like the Robert Downey Jr. version of Sherlock Holmes in which he was basically an early Tony Stark inventing all sorts of crazy contraptions that didn't actually exist at the time.

I also like the Robin Hood movies where Robin of Loxley, one of the West's first mythical superheroes, has all sorts of A historical gadgets and psychics including his numerous Saras and Wingman, who's better than Robin Hood at everything, sort of like Bruce Lee's Kato.

I also dug Sky Captain and the world of tomorrow set in a technologically advanced 1939 because while fascism sucked, the aesthetics could be pretty cool.

And that's why I'd love to see a movie where the British did indeed have plans and airports. Now it would be silly to give them F-35s, no one would believe that.

But some badass biplanes bring it on. Who wouldn't want to hear Alexander Hamilton and Lafayette play Maverick and Goose? I feel the need, the need for speed.

Or to put it in the argument of the time, I have the taste, the taste for haste. Maybe Hamilton dies in a dogfight over the cliffs of Wehawkin.

You know, one of the things that made George Washington such a dominant figure was that he was so impressive on a horse.

Thomas Jefferson remarked that Washington was the best horseman of his age and the most graceful figure that could be seen on horseback.

Replace Horseman with pilot and you've got a killer movie on your hands.

Nike's idiocy.

Speaking of the founders, my column today is on the idiocy of the Betsy Ross flag controversy.

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