Episode 108: DSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony
4.4 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 4 March 2021
⏱️ 51 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week we are discussing how to communicate with a high-conflict co-parent. Joining me is my guest Bill Eddy. Bill is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.
Bill is also the author of BIFF™: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, and the just-released, BIFF For Coparent Communication. If you are in any kind of high-conflict situation, you need this book. Seriously.
During our conversation, Bill shares his expertise along with tips and techniques to help maneuver difficult co-parent texts, emails, and social media posts. Whether you are in a high-conflict co-parent situation or simply co-parenting with an ex, this episode is full of valuable information you can put to use immediately.
Show Highlights
- High-conflict personalities and keeping high-conflict divorce out of the courtroom.
- How Bill developed the method of communication he uses in high-conflict situations.
- Why it is important to be brief when writing emails or written correspondence with a co-parent.
- Why you should avoid labeling a co-parent as a blame speaker, high-conflict person, or as someone who has a personality disorder. Plus, what you can do instead.
- Some techniques to help turn a high-conflict situation around or at least defuse one.
- The art of learning how and when to take a PAUSE.
- How to get information to a co-parent, in a friendly tone, and then end the conversation.
Learn More About Bill:
Bill Eddy is an attorney, therapist, mediator, author, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years' experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries and is the author or co-author of sixteen books (as of 2020) and has a popular blog on the Psychology Today website with over 4 million views.
Resources & Links:
High Conflict Institute
Bill on Instagram
High Conflict Institute on Facebook
The Thrive Fund
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, where we have open and honest conversations about co-parenting, separation, divorce, and the hardest question of all, should you stay or should you go. |
| 0:17.7 | I'm Kate Anthony, your divorce survival guide, and I'm here to help you navigate |
| 0:22.8 | some of the roughest waters you've ever swum in and answer some of your toughest questions. |
| 0:28.5 | I've been to hell and back, and now it's my mission in life to help you get to the other side |
| 0:34.2 | of this process with your sanity and your heart intact. |
| 0:44.4 | Welcome back to another episode of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast. How's everyone doing? |
| 0:50.6 | So today's episode I am super excited about. I have with me today, Bill Eddie. If you are in |
| 0:57.9 | my Facebook group, you have seen me post the screenshot of Bill's latest book, the Biff method for |
| 1:07.7 | co-parents over and over and over and over again. In answer to so many questions, |
| 1:16.3 | I simply post the screenshot of the book. And today, Bill is coming on to talk about the BIF method |
| 1:24.3 | and his book. Biff stands for brief, informative, friendly, and firm. And this is an |
| 1:32.4 | incredible communication tool to use in high conflict cases. And frankly, in all sorts of |
| 1:42.7 | situations that are not high conflict. It's just simply brilliant. So Bill |
| 1:47.5 | Eddie is an attorney. He's a therapist. He's a mediator and an author. And he is the founder and |
| 1:55.3 | chief innovation officer of the High Conflict Institute. So Bill knows conflict. He pioneered the high conflict personality |
| 2:05.3 | theory and is a leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. |
| 2:12.7 | This man knows what he's talking about. I am so honored to have him on the show this week. And I got to tell |
| 2:19.5 | you, this was an episode I was looking forward to. I was so excited to be able to spend some time |
| 2:24.5 | with Bill myself. And I'm even more excited to bring you this episode. So without further ado, |
| 2:33.0 | here's my conversation with Bill Eddie. |
| 2:42.5 | Bill Eddie, thank you so much for being here. It is such an honor and a privilege to have |
| 2:48.4 | you on my podcast. Thank you for joining us. My pleasure. I'm looking |
... |
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