Welcome to Wolf 359. This is the audio log of communications officer Doug Eiffel. I am speaking from the

Com's room of the USS Festa station. Welcome to Day 448 of our orbit around

Reddorf Star Wolf 359. Today's weather report, pretty nominal. Surface temperatures averaging at about, oh, a crisp 4,500

degrees Fahrenheit. Instruments are picking up less than 10% chance of stellar

flares. Just another happy sunny day out here, seven and a half light

years away from Earth.

Minkowski and I finally cleared up that problem with the temperature on the station.

All the climate control systems are back to normal and our stalwart autopilot Hera promises she'll be a little less

gung-ho in her efforts to conserve power.

You know I understand that as an artificial intelligence it's difficult for her to remember that human beings can't function at 400 below zero.

That's fine, Everyone makes mistakes, but if she could stop talking about my

fragile carbon-based uncomfortably liquid body, it'd be a real breakthrough for

human AI relations.

Speaking of scientific advancement, it's been three days since Hilbert's come out of his lab.

I think this is the fourth time since mission launch he's been sitting with us at

dinner suddenly yelled of course and ran off. I can't understand what Hilbert's

saying half the time anyway. It's just as well and still banned from the lab. You accidentally

knock over one vat of acid and almost burn a hole in the hull and suddenly you're... well yeah I guess

that's fair. Whatever you're up to Dr. Hilbert, best to luck.

I gotta be careful with these. Minkowski confiscated another cigarette carton today.

You'd think that after a year and a half on this tin can, our resident

stotzy agent would let up. I get it. Cigarettes are contraband. But it's not like if she let me have

...