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Guaranteed human. I kicked a girl at my wedding because she was younger and hotter than me. The audacity. Am I the A-hole? No. If anyone is more attractive than you, they deserve to be put down to your level. Throw a tomato at their face. Ooh, I like that. Poor acid on their nose. Wow. So specific. Wow. I love it. Outright. Throw, maybe, maybe get a fertilizer. Maybe throw some fertilizer on their dress. Yep. Like, I mean, there's so many things we can do to bring them down to where we are. Poop in your hand. Oh. And then Chuck. Woo. That's a hot tamale.

Hot and steamy.

Oh, yes.

I-25 female and my husband, 30 male and I, got married last Friday.

Congrats.

We planned our dream wedding down to the dream catering company.

The wedding was beautiful.

After the pictures, we headed to our cocktail hour. and that's when I saw her. The hottest lady of all. Damn, she was a smoke show. My guests were all told

to wear dark colors, so my husband and I stood out. I also asked my guest to wear minimal makeup.

I had assumed that applied to the staff as well.

Oh, goodness. Part of the staff? The staff. The help. God. The server, 19-ish female, had on clearly

too much eyeliner. Clearly. This isn't a green day concert, you punk!

She also had diamond studs on her ears, a flashy ring, and one of those ugly nose studs.

Oh, a nose stud.

What is this?

Is this a hot topic?

Yeah.

Are we at a mall now?

Are we at a wedding or a hot freaking topic? Come on.

The staff's uniform was long black sleeve shirts, but on her, it was too low cut and her pants

were far too tight. That ass and those boobies were too bodacious. They were busting out to confines. My husband could not keep his eyes off her. And how could he? It's like he's like, do you promise to love your wife till the day you die? He's like, babe, I want to say yes, but that server is just looking so bodacious, babe. I might have to ask her to marry me instead. Oh, God. Hey, babe, actually,

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