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Guaranteed Human. I'm so annoyed that I have to deal with the curious case of Waterpark Karen. Do you know about Karen's? I know about Karen's. What is your deal with Karen? What do you know about Karen's? Well, I've met a few in my day. Oh, in your day? In my day of 25 years. And they're the stinks. They're the stinkers of life. Stinkers of life.

They're the stinkers of life. Stinkers of life. They're the bockhole of society. Also, if you want to know who this person is, who is not the bockhole of society. This is my girlfriend, Ariana. She's cute. She's feisty. And she's going to be your interim co-host as John is out of office this week. So please be nice her. All right. I am a fully certified lifeguard.

But that's beside the point. Here's some context. At the water park, we have a spot called zero depth. Because the deepest it gets is two feet, which is not zero. It's two. It's two. Should be called two depth. Or negative two. Zero depth. Also has a small slide, about five feet long and it levels out into the deep end. So there are always troublemakers at these

water parks, but these specific two kids were very annoying. I told them both. Hey kids, don't go down

head first. You're going to be dumb like your papa. Yeah, you got to get brain damage like

your mama, like that carib mom of yours. And, you know, I told them this because it's a safety hazard. And one of them listened. The other, not so much. You might get something missed up in the brain, you know. He's done that water park sign too many times. Head on collisions with the water. made this boy dumb as a rock.

Tom as an average Aaron.

The average Aaron.

Call back to the last episode. So when he came back, I said to him, hey, sorry, buddy, but you can't go on the slide anymore today. Then the kid pouted and went down the stairs. And then I saw him talking to his mom in the hot tub. And here we go. What do you think?

He's telling his mom.

He's telling his mom that the big bad water lifeguard is a big weenie. And you can't believe he goes down to the shot. I didn't even do anything. And Water Park Karen's going to come up to the lifeguard and say. Yeah. All right. Stink all over that man. Oh, yeah. She's going to open that.

She's going to defecate. She's going to poop in the pool.

We got a floater. About three minutes pass. Then a wound comes up from behind me and taps me on the shoulder. Excuse me. I turn around. So excited. Yes. Entitled mother. Did you say my son going to go down on the slide anymore? Yeah, I was only trying to save his life. Yeah. Yes, ma'am, I did. He wrote the rules three times in a row. So I have to ban him. Entitled Mother. Um, but I was at the bottom watching him and he never went down the wrong way. Meanwhile, she was in the hot tub. May I remind you? Ma'am, I'm the lifeguard at the stand and I know what I saw. That ticked her off. And in classic, titled mom fashion. Um, can I speak to your manager? No. Don't bring the manager into it. Go right ahead.

He's in the first aid room. If you go down the ramp and take her left, you'll be right there. Oh, by the way, we have cameras. So we can see your tall-ass kid breaking the rules three times in a row. And we can rewind it and see it three times more. Feel free to look at the footage. I pointed up to the camera right behind us on the pool coming out of the wall. She had the dumbest smile on her face.

Fine.

But just wait until you see that you're I pointed up to the camera right behind us on the pool coming out of the wall. She had the dumbest smile on her face.

Fine.

But just wait until you see that you're wrong.

She's going to go destroy the footage.

She's going to go like formation impossible.

I'm a five minutes pass and I see my headguard, my manager, walking up to me.

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