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Guaranteed human. Today I effed up by leaving my date alone with my roommates. Roommate's not very trustworthy. What's going on down there? Right. I didn't come home last night. I didn't come home alone last night. Ooh. All right. Reddit boy. I had a girl with me. She was confident and cute, and to be honest,

I didn't expect someone like her to be interested in spending the night at my place,

considering how socially awkward I was during her entire date.

Sounds like it checks out for Reddit Boy.

My roommate was in the living room when we entered the apartment.

I introduced the two of them before excusing myself to use the bathroom. I poop whenever I'm extremely nervous. Oh yeah.

Gap gang. Man is not like presenting himself as the most suave character. He's really not though. I don't know why, but it's been like that since I was a kid. For most people, the possibility of sex is usually a source of excitement, but in inexperience,

introverted and socially in that person like me, it's often the source of anxiety.

Hence the pooping.

My guy is having a tough time.

Before I get it on, I got to open up my bowels.

I decided to have a quick shower afterwards.

Wash away whatever traces that were of my nervous reaction on the toilet. Oh my God. I feel

bad for this guy. I must have been in the bathroom for more or less 30 minutes. 30 minutes.

It's a bit much. That's a long time. That's a lot of much actually. Yeah. Like you have your date come in and they're waiting for 30 minutes.

Just go squeeze it out and then just get to scrubbing.

Yeah.

I knew it was weird to disappear like that.

And I was totally prepared to awkwardly explain my absence.

What I needed to poop and then wash with the poop off.

I don't know what you say.

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