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My wasted dad is six feet under and I just realized he ain't my real dad.

Am I test tube baby?

I mean, that potentially could be a better outcome.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't want to be a terrible as dad seems.

Yeah, hopefully you're not related to whatever gene pool is in his messed up by your jeans. Also, if you're a test tube, baby, like, are you like half test tube? You are. Do you, like, can you just measure anything? Are you automatically a scientist? Do you have an IQ of over 150? You could guess all like, any time it's like, you know, guess how many gumballs are in this bowl. If someone has seven gumballs at a bowl, they do not deserve to run those contests. I'm sorry. All right. All right. On to the story. On to the story. So my dad was 56 and my mom was 46 when me and my twin sister were born. That's old as frick, frack, bro.

Your parents are that old.

They're freaking old.

Bro, that mom's kucci was working overtime.

Jesus.

Also, I mean, like, like, you got to, like, to be able to birth at that age, like, that's tough.

Yeah.

Congrats.

My dad died in 2007 when my twin sister and I were 12. He had been a heavy drinker and smoker since he was 10. 10. Oh, do you get heavy drinker and smoker when you were 10? That's insane. The only thing I was drinking was like juice boxes. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was, I was getting wasted off of that apple juice.

That's not, though?

The closest thing I came to smoking was like playing with hot wheels.

The closest thing for me was the smarties when they.

Except I never did that shit.

I, dude, our fucking grade was so dumb.

And fourth grade, we were doing lines of smarties.

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