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Guaranteed human. If I can't drink here, neither will my friends. I'm an alcoholic and I want to drink where I freaking want to. That's right. All right. This is a little bit long one. Not sure if this is malicious compliance or just unintended consequences, but I feel like it belongs here. Back in my mid-20s, I used to wait tables at this restaurant in my hometown. The money was good, and I got along with everyone there. I was the talk of the town, most popular kid at the ballroom. I was like a Tibetan princess on New Year's Eve. Exactly that. Exactly that. Usually, after our shift, a few of the servers would sit at the bar and have a few drinks. Wind down, you know, clown around as bar waiters do. You figure why go to any other bar when there's a bar right here,

you know? Makes sense. We always tipped well and nothing was never, and nothing was ever an issue.

Until one day when the owner out of nowhere decided that employees weren't allowed to drink at the bar anymore. Now, I completely understand this is a normal rule in other bars and the owner was well within his rights. But I just didn't see where this came from. I asked the manager if we did anything wrong to warrant the rule change. He just said the owner was being a dick. Ouch. He told me he tried to talk him out of it because there was no reason, but the owner just wanted to make his presence. No. Lay down the law. All right. Okay. He's within his rights to whatever. However, what he didn't count on was Thursday nights and my friends. Back then, my friends were in a punk band and I'd practice every Thursday night. I would work every Thursday night and they would meet up with me at my bar and grab a drink with me after my shift.

And usually they bring their girlfriends, their girlfriend's friends and whoever was hanging around.

My friends pretty much made that bar's Thursday night as busy as a Friday or a Saturday.

And when I tell you, we could drink, oh, we could drink. Ooh, that's good. And of course, everyone tipped generously. So when I told them I wasn't allowed to drink at my bar anymore after my shift, they were pissed as I was. My buddy Bob was like, wait, so there's no point to go to your bar. And then we should all just go to another bar after you're done so you can join us. Yeah. It was the most logical solution. There was another bar around the corner. So come Thursday around 9 p.m. I'm finishing up my shift as my manager approaches me. He looks at the empty bar and says, hey man, are your friends on the way? They're usually three drinks in by now. I reply, oh, actually, they're usually

four drinks in and they're at the bar around the corner. My manager was dumbfounded. Wait, what?

Why aren't they drinking here? I calmly tell them, well, they want to drink with me and I'm not

allowed to drink here. Now, if you excuse me, there's a pint of cane head high, my favorite beer waiting for me around the corner. I walked out and joined my friends for a fun night. Now, I must admit, I feel bad for the bartender who usually works Thursday nights. She had no part in the decision and her tips suffered because of our move, but that's management, not me. After a few weeks, the owner noticed a tip in sales on Thursday nights and said we were allowed to drink at the bar again. However, the damage was gone. However, the damage was done. We found out not only did the bar around the corner have all the beers we usually drink, but they were also much cheaper. We also struck up a great friendship with the bartenders. We found our new spot to hang out.

There was no reason to go back.

Oh, well.

Money clap.

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Guaranteed human.