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Today I asked up by sandpapering my pee-p-p-Raw using the wrong swimming shorts.

Not my pee-pee.

I was like my brain was trying to like understand what those words meant.

Now I get it.

That mesh is terrible. Dude, yeah. Mesh. Bro, who invented the mesh in, in swim pants? We need to just... What is it for? Is it to keep everything in place? I don't know. I have no idea. Just put in like a, like a, like a spandex type thing it's it looks like a cheese grater it looks like a cheese

grater bro it goes we need to cancel it this happened yesterday my wife and i are on an anniversary

vacation in maui and we took a snorkeling trip on day one i'm not a fan of swim shorts with

supportive mesh inside but my wife bought them for me and they look nice so i wore them them. We took a tour in a rigid, whole inflatable boat out to another island and spent the morning snorkeling.

Myself and some other people on the trip ended up riding on the side of the boat,

bouncing on the inflatable tube as the boat bounced on the waves.

That's kind of fun.

At some point on the ride back to Maui, my penis started burning.

No, it wasn't gonorrhea, but it was like really, really burning.

The burning and stinging kept getting worse, but there was no way to check on the situation

since there is nowhere private on the boat.

So I just endured the pain while wondering if I somehow got a jellyfish stuck in my shorts.

Oh, God.

Once we docked in Maui, I ran to a honey bucket to find out what the heck was going on with my ding-a-dong.

To my horror, I discovered that salt crystals have been left behind on the mesh after my shorts dried.

All the bouncing up and down on the side of the boat had effectively sandpapered little Tony raw while rubbing salt into my wounds at the same time.

...