This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human. My family tried to commit me to a mental hospital. File for my divorce and then steal my wife's money. Okay. O.P. You know, uh, that would be a list of things, uh, that you shouldn't do. Yeah, yeah, I think, uh, I think we can all agree that is a list of three things that should never happen. And you know what?

I'm going to go out on a ledge and I'm just going to stick my flag in that, you know.

Yeah, controversial opinion.

A very controversial opinion, but I don't think you should take people's money or file for divorce for them or...

Hashtag free Brittany.

There we go.

Yeah, free Brittany.

She was confined to a mental hospital against her well. That is true. That is true. And we know someone who played soccer with her with her boo. That we do. That we do her new boo. We have the, she got married. We should invite him on the podcast. That we should. That we should. My wife was scheduled for a business trip. So I decided that during her time away, I would go visit my family.

Makes sense?

Since I live in the United States, heart of meth headism, the great state of Oklahoma,

Oh, Kola Run, don't look back home.

Yeah.

I knew it would be a chaotic visit, but I had no idea what would actually be in store for me this time round. Uh-oh. Something's in store and, you know, you don't want to be in that store. You don't want to buy that store. This store is a bad store. That's right. Give me a refund. The meth store.

You don't want to buy anything there.

Yeah, I'm good.

I'll pass.

Yeah, no meth for me.

After letting my mom know what dates I was coming for the visit, I started getting some weirder texts than usual.

Some odd textoroonies, as you might say.

Now, usually text from my family goes something like this.

I read online that snorting hydrogen peroxide is actually good for your health.

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