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Guaranteed Human. I called the cops on a boy who stole my $2,500 bike. The police arrested him and his dad for grand larceny. Am I the A-hole? Bikes are pretty expensive. Bikes are pretty expensive. Bikes are pretty $2,500. It's a lot of money. That's a lot of mullah. Yeah. So I got to hear more. I need something a little funnier.

Bikes.

Bikes. Bikes. Bikes. Or maybe like, the kids, the kids been watching too much GTA. The kids been watching too much GTA. I'm trying to feed you ideas. You got to come up without your own. Grand larceny.

More like. Bike. Stealing. Don't steal bikes. Don't steal bikes. Hey. Hey. Hey. Don't steal bike. Hey, what you're doing, kid. Hey, I see ya. Stealing bike. You know what I say? You know what I always say? I always say if you want a bike, go to UCs.

You, You what? Go to the UCs. Everyone's stealing bikes at the UCs. You seize these bike? Don't steal. What? That doesn't make sense. You see this bike. Don't steal it. If you sees this bike, you shouldn't take it. The University of California, prime real estate for stealing bikes. Yeah,

that's where everyone steals bikes. That's where everyone steals bikes. I got my bike stolen, actually. Exactly. Okay. Editors, use one of those. I'm sure there was something funny there. Also, this is my sister Sophia. She's guesting on today's episode. Hello. Early February, my bike was stolen from a cafe in broad daylight.

Oh my goodness.

They have witnesses.

I love how it's like when it's a broad daylight.

It's like, oh my God.

Everyone just watched this happen?

I thought they were only nighttime people.

I thought they wear masks and walked on their tiptoes. In broad daylight. In the time of the good people. At that they wear masks and walked on their tiptoil.

In the time of the good people.

Yes.

What are they doing?

What are they doing out here?

Don't they know that they should only creep and crawl doing the midnight house?

Then they know they belong with the rats in the dark in the moon.

In the dark.

A friend told me they found my bike listed on Marketplace. And sure enough, there it was. They'd strip the stickers, the saddlebags, lights, basically anything that was easy to remove and identifiable. But I could still tell it was mine. How did the friend tell? I guess, you know, Opio was probably like, Opie was probably like, you would probably probably came home and it was like, you would not believe the fees. Right daylight. God. For my bike, it was blue. Broad. It had gears. I tell you, the broadest daylight. The scratch on it. That daylight was thick. Specific drawing of the bike. Yes. And it said if

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