This is an I-Heart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

All right.

You're fired.

What if that was actually good?

What if, like, getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to you?

What if you, like, went into your job and you did absolutely nothing, but you actually got paid?

So, like, this story is diving into one such case of a guy that was paid to do absolutely nothing,

just sit on his butt. Maybe he was reading Reddit stories. Is this about me? No, I'm just

kidding. I love, I love my job. This is my first solo episode without John. I miss him already.

So say, hey, John, I miss you in the comments if you also miss

John. So we're going to talk about what happens when you achieve the American dream,

getting to do nothing and still making bank. An epiphany was had this morning as I peruse Reddit,

sipping code red, and toying with the notion of stepping outside for my third cigarette in an hour

on a cigarette smoking kills. Nine years and two months of my life have been devoted towards

the goal of personal advancement within a small yet thriving company. I arrived one spring

morning at the offices of a local company. Just a 15 yearyear-old acne-encrusted, bespeckled

face in the crowd with a dot matrix printed resume extolling my massive abilities with the

386 computer and willingness to work after school. I was immediately hired at minimum wage

and began a series of menial jobs within said company,

including authorizing credit cards and serving as a squeaky voice telephone operator.

Great first job.

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