This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. My psycho parents are in a religious cult. I just found

sacrifices in the attic. Should I call the cops? Well, you know, it's for religious reasons. You know,

you know what the sacrifices in the attic are? What? Their dreams when they had you. Wow. Sorry,

O.P. You literally were an accident and you crush their dreams. So, my parents are very

secretive people. I always assumed that's just how parents were. Along with this, they were legit

obsessed with the attic. What's creeping and crawling in the attic? What's you doing up there,

guys? Bals and gags, baby. That's, oh God. Mommy and Daddy's playplace. That's right. Keep it upstairs. Sex swings and fucking leather. Nice and hot. When we moved into this house, four floors, one attic, I wanted to have more room in there as it had the most space and I could put all my workout equipment there. But they demanded that I stay on the second floor, which eventually turned into a screaming match between me,

my mom, and my stepdad.

Is that not the most spoiled child shit ever?

I want the attic because it has more square feet for my Peloton, Mom.

Mama, I want the penthouse.

I would not do with the second floor what you'd take me for, some kind of plebion.

The shit is ridiculous.

The second floor is basically the gutter, Mama.

I cannot live in the sewers.

I didn't want to smell the sewers.

I don't want to smell the poor people.

The waffs come up from the ground, the attic, free from the poor smells.

I must have my own space, Mama.

I caved and moved into the second floor.

And to apologize, they let me stay at my cousin's house in Massachusetts for the next two weeks as they moved more and more stuff in.

They had to apologize for giving you a whole fucking floor.

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