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Guaranteed Human.

I'm just forcing my wife to miss a funeral because I want a day off. I don't think it's too much to ask. Am I the A-hole? You know, Sam, I think O.P. wants us to look at the facts, right? O.P. can only have so many days off. When you're dead, you have unlimited days off. Unlimited days off. I mean, come on.

Like, I'm talking come on. Like,

I'm talking PTO. Like, also, you know, the dead person isn't going to miss anyone.

Hello? Not going to miss any meetings. Not going to miss any fun outings. Just reschedule the funeral.

So simple. Right. Just move. Just take the funeral and move it somewhere else. Just do that. Just do that. Okay. All right. The edit at the beginning is a beautiful start to the story. If you're going to comment saying she's sleeping with her boss, move on. Out of context, we don't know what that means, but we're about to find out. But we love. So my wife and I have two children, a four-year-old and a six-year-old. Our six-year-old is on the autism spectrum. It goes without saying that this is a very stressful position and neither of us get very much a break from this. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and I have a full-time job. Okay? We got the lay of the land.

It's set. As happy as our children make us, I don't think it's selfish for us to both desire breaks.

We get them every here or there, but we made a deal to have two guaranteed breaks in a year.

Our birthdays and mothers slash father's day. Of course, we get other breaks. I'm not locking my wife in the house aside from those two days a year. Our birthdays and mothers slash father's day. Of course we get other breaks. I'm not locking

my wife in the house aside from those two days a year. I cannot believe I have to clarify this.

These holidays and birthdays are supposed to be guaranteed off. Other random weekends that one of us

decides to take on the brunt of child care just happened randomly. Okay. Okay. So on those days,

the one parent takes the brunt of the burden so the other can get a day to relax. Since our youngest was about two, we have practiced this. I have never failed to give my wife the day off she deserved. I'll schedule her a spa day or something she really wants to do and get her out of the house so she can relax while I'm on daddy duty. That's nice. I like that. Good setup.

Then when she gets back, our kids give her cards and gifts and we get a meal from her

favorite place after they go to bed. My wife has been less consistent and doesn't really do

as much as I do for her. The last year, she really hasn't done anything.

Oh, shots have been fired over here.

Dang wifey.

Dang, mama.

Gotta pick up the slash.

Uh-oh.

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