EP1011: My Girlfriend Set Me Up To Get Arrested - r/BestofRedditorUpdates Reddit Story
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iHeartPodcasts
4.3 • 576 Ratings
🗓️ 8 July 2023
⏱️ 26 minutes
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates - My girlfriend tried to throw me under the bus when the police searched my house
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.6 | Guaranteed human. |
| 0:04.1 | The cops just busted down my door and I think my girlfriend is trying to get me arrested. |
| 0:10.0 | But the police just found out who actually set me up. |
| 0:13.5 | Maybe she just kind of misread his signals. |
| 0:18.2 | Yeah, maybe she's like, oh my God, like he wants to get a little kinky in the bedroom. Oh, goodness. Like, oh, like, I mean, I don't know what to do. Do I take out the strap on? Do I take out the ring? You know, the, the, the, the buzz ring. So many options. Or the handcuffs, you know, and she's like, handcuffs. Who do I call? Truly. Like, hey, 911, this is an emergency. We all, you always have handcuffs, you know? I don't have handcuffs. Who I call? Truly. Like, hey, this is an emergency. We all, you always have handcuffs. You always have handcuffs, right? And it is emergency. You know, that's true. My boyfriend can't get it up. Nope. Unless he's, you know, Tide up. That's right. So come on over, boys. |
| 0:54.6 | And hey, more the more than the merrier. |
| 0:55.9 | The more of the merrier, truly. |
| 1:11.0 | Yeah. Oh, all right. My girlfriend and I have been in relationship for a bit over a year. Rookie numbers, boy. Come on. Lucky numbers. A year. Come on. Get it up. Come on. She stays at my house about 75% of the time. |
| 1:14.0 | We've had no major problems before this point. |
| 1:12.8 | Of course you haven't. Just a year. Just wait. Come on. |
| 1:16.8 | Just wait. On Saturday night, we were watching TV in the living room and suddenly there was |
| 1:22.4 | loud pounding and shouting at the front door. My immediate reaction was to call the police. |
| 1:29.6 | But after a look out the curtains, I thought it was the police. |
| 1:34.4 | Oh, geez. |
| 1:35.2 | Who do you call who polices the police? |
| 1:38.0 | That's the question. |
| 1:39.1 | That's the question. |
| 1:40.1 | At this point, I was extremely confused. |
| 1:42.7 | I don't sell manufacture or use drugs. I have no |
| 1:46.2 | firearms in the house. I do nothing illegal online. I don't even pirate Game of Thrones. |
| 1:52.8 | O.P., it sounds like you're a freaking loser. |
... |
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