The Washington Post, where democracy dies and slavering hatred of Donald Trump,

that seems to seed like acid inside your belly, eating through your guts until the devours

are very sole, causing your face to freeze in a distorted rictus of agony while words of

malice and madness stream from your gaping mouth as if a demon were speaking from inside you

so that at last you realize with heart that you've become Jennifer Rubin.

Reporters have uncovered a conspiracy involving Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett.

The exclusive post investigation has revealed that for many years, Barrett has been a member of a

cult-like group known as Christi Anity whose members gather every Sunday for a gory ritual

in which they devour the body and blood of a human being. The group, here too for unknown,

to journalists at the post, has established meeting places in almost every corner of America

and has even reportedly spread to other countries, although these reports could not be confirmed

without sending reporters outside the beltway and assignment deemed too risky by the post-editors.

In troubling rights reminiscent of the dystopian television show The Handmaid's Tale,

which reporters personally binged in order to be able to write the sentence,

female members of this society must submit to the authority of their husbands who respond with

the fetishistic practice of making their wives into one flesh with themselves. This, of course,

renders all other sexual relationships virtually impossible, which in turn transforms marriage

into something very, very different from the institution normally experienced in Washington, D.C.

The cult's inflexible rules of raised concerns among Democrat lawmakers. For instance,

they fear the troubling directive thou shalt not kill could endanger abortion rights,

and the decree thou shalt not steal would make Democrat governance virtually impossible.

Though baritone's cis membership in this freakish, grotesque, indeed, almost religious group,

...