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Slack.com slash DHQ. A team of investigative reporters is claiming that presumptive former

president Joe Biden is not, in fact, a dithering old fool, descending rapidly from mere stupidity

into whittlestonility while uttering completely incomprehensible word salads to a media

determined to cover up his degeneration into a quivering puddle of barely sentient flesh.

But has, in fact, been sending coded messages to the public that merely sound like the incomprehensible

word salads of a dithering old fool, descending rapidly into whittlestonility and so on.

The team of reporters, which includes the guard who was supposed to be outside Jeffrey

Epstein's prison cell, the guy who runs Coma Pizza and Dan Rather, make the claim in their

new book, Help Unlocked in the Basement. They say when Biden recites the Pledge of Allegiance

as, I pledge allegiance to the United States of America, one nation under God for real.

If you subtract those letters from the actual Pledge of Allegiance, record what's left

and play it backwards, you hear, Help. I'm being held hostage by the Democrat Party and

forced to run for president. Likewise, if you take Biden's version of the declaration,

we hold these truths to be self-evident, all men and women created by, you know, you

know the thing. Superimpose those words on the actual declaration, then set them on fire.

The ashes spell out the words, I'm scared, I don't know where I am, and I need someone

to take me home. Finally, if you add up all the times Biden has bullied a voter by calling

...