This episode is brought to you by Slack. With Slack, you can bring all your people and

tools together in one place. It's your digital HQ where you can increase productivity,

enable flexibility and automate workflows. Plus, Slack is full of game-changing features

like huddles for quick check-ins or Slack Connect, which helps you connect with partners

inside and outside of your company. Slack, where the future works. Get started at

Slack.com slash DHQ. Democrats are putting the finishing touches on their plans for the

2020 convention in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. After the opening ceremonial riot, there'll be

a five minute unmasking so organizers can separate the looters from the other Democrats. Following

that, Democrat officials will dial 911 so social workers can come and put out the fires by politely

asking arsonists if they can think of a more constructive way to express their search

for equality and justice. After that, the conventioneers will move into the rubble of Milwaukee's

Wisconsin Center and will take their seats on anything that isn't smoldering or explosive.

There'll then be a presentation by naked Athena who'll do a poll dance for justice with

additional table dances for justice for any delegate who wishes to slip a 10 spot into

her G-string. They'll follow a barbershop quartet of Never Trumpers featuring Bill Crystal,

singing in such well-loved numbers as irrelevant never forgets. I used to be somebody and pay

what happened to my influence. After that, Bernie Sanders will graciously endorse the

nominee in a speech entitled Better Half a Bowl of Crap than the whole damn thing. Then

one of the party's young rising stars, Alexandria, Kaseo Cortez will appear on video preparing

a vegan meatloaf while she describes her vision for a green America powered by renewal,

renewable energy sources like happy thoughts and unicorn smiles. Democrat party chairman

Tom Perez will then read the party platform, which includes plans to build the gigantic

...