A new rasmussen poll shows that Donald Trump is closing the gap with Joe Biden in the presidential race.

Democrats are furious and they're warning Americans they will not end the violence and

hysteria in the country until voters get their minds right and agree to mend their ways.

Speaking to an audience of tiny figurines crafted completely out of spare Botox,

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said, quote, voters are going to have to take some responsibility

for the chaos and terror we are causing because they refuse to abandon Trump.

We've had three years of insanity over Russian collusion that didn't even happen.

We had near riots over accusations against a Supreme Court nominee that were completely

unsubstantiated and we stopped the business of this country to hold an actual impeachment hearing

over a meaningless remark and a phone call to Ukraine. We wouldn't have done any of these things

if voters hadn't elected Donald Trump so it's inconceivable they would even think of doing it again.

Unquote, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer agreed, speaking from the center of a flaming

pentancle while the spirits of the evil dead flew in circles around his head before moving off

to vote by mail in the November election. Schumer told the crowd of goats with human faces,

quote, just look at the violence in our cities. That is happening while Democrat mayors and

governors stand by doing nothing. To voters actually think we're going to bring that chaos to a halt

if they go off and vote for Trump again. This irresponsible behavior on the part of voters had

better stop. This is not what democracy looks like. It looks like a mob of mass thugs

assaulting police officers and defacing property. Unquote Joe Biden also chimed in and a statement

slipped under his basement door that read quote, can anyone remember the name of that TV show about

the small town sheriff and his son Opie? I always love that program. Let me know when I'm president.

Unquote, trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klaven and this is the Andrew Klaven Show.

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