Leftists pledged they'll continue to propose ways to reform policing until it's absolutely

impossible to go outside without getting your head blown off.

Leftists say the police are hindering the activities of useful community organizations

like the CRIPS and the BLUDs who give young men something to occupy their time, like drive

by shootings and other drive by shootings.

To come up with some fresh ideas for police reform, the leftists assembled a brain trust,

including Congresswoman Alexandria occasional cortex and some lesser intellects like the

eraser on the end of a pencil, an old sneaker, and a fly that's been banging against the

same window for the last 45 minutes because it can't figure out there's no way through

it.

This collection of the left's top thinkers has issued a list of reforms, including one.

From now on, when citizens dial 911, they'll get a phone tree.

They can press one to submit to the mob, press two to be put on hold for 20 minutes, press

three and die, or press 911 and go back to the beginning.

Two, when police are called to the scene of a shooting, a social worker will be dispatched

instead and will hand the victim an informational pamphlet entitled, so it seems you've been

murdered.

The pamphlet will provide helpful hints on how to position your body within the chalk

lines, how to call out pitifully for your mother while your life's blood spills onto

the pavement, and how to avoid being crushed by reporters who are stepping over your

body to cover some less important story they might be able to parlay into a race riot.

Three, if criminals should invade your home and you manage to defend yourself with a personal

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