A team of medical experts, or possibly cranks, has released a new report declaring that Joe Biden's

election as president will completely cure the Chinese flu. The experts, or cranks,

that has now become impossible to tell the difference, said that until Biden is installed in the

Oval Office, the flu will continue to spread like a raging wildfire, killing every single person

in its path, including people statistics, say, will not be killed, and even including people

who actually will not be killed, but will be killed in news reports until Biden has elected.

The experts are cranks known among their expert-crank colleagues as Mo, Larry, Curly, and Dean

Baked, say that as soon as Biden wins, the painful panic and fear sweeping the nation will

subside, because outlandish news stories bearing false claims and causing overreactions by tyrannical

petty officials will suddenly disappear like magic. The cranks, or possibly experts, say that

not only will Biden's election cure the disease, but it will also bring racial harmony to the

streets of our cities, which have been so devastated by having Trump be the president, while Democrat

policies were in the midst of destroying them. Once Trump is out of office, say the expert cranks,

spiraling crime rates, widespread homelessness, and government corruption will suddenly vanish

from Democrat cities, or at least from news reports about Democrat cities, which is the same thing.

Police brutality will only resurface if it becomes necessary to distract Americans from the fact

that Joe Biden has been staring into a waste basket and calling for his mother for the last six days.

Clearly, racial tension has been a problem ever since Barack Obama healed our nation's wounds

by twisting the knife of his failure in them. But with Joe Biden at long last in the government,

as opposed to wherever he's been all these many decades, these problems will be completely solved.

Unless the experts are cranks, then this is just more of their leftist crap. Trigger warning,

a madruclaven, this is the Andrew Claven Show.

...