Folks, if you're like me, you have some serious problems.

Being like me, for instance, would actually be one of them.

But also, you probably find that whenever a Democrat politician appears before you at a rally

or on your television set, or in the horrific nightmares that haunt your tortured soul in

the sweat-stained watches of the hellish darkness, he or she is always telling you that

you have to pay your fair share.

And it's only right that we ask everyone to pay their fair share.

Those at the top have to pay their fair share.

If I'm elected president, you're going to start paying your fair share about that.

Now I know what you're wondering.

You're wondering, gee Democrat politician, what is my fair share?

Fair share of what?

What's fair about it?

And how can I figure out the exact amount?

Well, under no more.

Today exclusively here at The Daily Wire, we are offering the clavomatic fair share calculator,

especially designed to answer the question, what is my fair share?

For instance, say you want to know what is my fair share of your college tuition?

Just enter the answers to these three simple questions into the clavomatic fair share calculator.

One, did I have any role in conceiving you?

Two, did my wife give birth to you?

Three, do you have my last name?

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