This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without

judgment, pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.

Answering readers questions and today I have a question from Samantha. She says, hi, Annie. Is it or is it not a good idea to count off the days when lives without alcohol and why?

Did you count your days? My guess is probably not. Thanks. So first I'll answer about myself.

Hi, quit drinking and was completely you for a cup of out it was like this fog had lifted my entire mind shift had had changed. I just knew I never really wanted to drink again. I was really confident in the decision.

And I know that date that was December 13th, December 15th of 2013.

And then a few months later I got, you know, I wasn't really believing anymore. I was like, I was so bombarded with all my friends saying that what are you doing? Why did you quit? You didn't have a problem? What's happening?

And so I decided to do an experiment that I write about my book and that was I film myself by myself no simulations. So I could tell if it was what the alcohol really felt like if I was really missing out with alcohol.

And I film myself and I got drunk by myself in a room. And what's the videos the next day and that was pretty horrific. It was embarrassing. It was not somebody I ever wanted to be again. I didn't really enjoy it without the, you know, with the socialization without being with friends without even watching TV.

And I was like, I'm really drinking. Wasn't all that great. It just made me feel not present. It made me feel like the room was kind of coming in around me. My vision was getting like a little fuzzier. My thoughts were getting fuzzier. And when I documented it as of that moment, I realized like I just that is don't need this. And it was so awesome in a way because it was so much good proof.

Anyway, I don't know the date of that. And I could look back at the video that I certainly have them and I could know the date. But from that point forward, I didn't count any days. And to be honest, I wasn't counting any days before that. And that was because it was such a profound shift in my consciousness that I just knew. And so I wanted alcohol to be small and irrelevant.

I don't count the days since, you know, I've stopped or started a lot of things. And I didn't want that counting to be something that was always reminding me of drinking because frankly, I didn't want to think about drinking anymore.

But that being said, that's not necessarily the right choice for everybody. And I think that what, what, one of the beautiful things about this entire journey and even just watching this video right now is you are on a quest for kind of self improvement and self knowledge.

And so many studies scientific research studies say that when you start to know yourself and start down to your stand yourself and your behaviors and what triggers you and what delights you, etc.

You have such a better chance of living a happy and fulfilled life and that link between knowing yourself and taking the time to dive into yourself and happiness is really profound.

Interestingly, it's not about knowing yourself and then judging yourself. It's about knowing yourself and accepting yourself and really figuring out what ways, you know, you can best change your behavior. Now this is not about accepting your behavior all the time, but it's about accepting the mechanisms that perhaps make you dive into certain behaviors.

And I could do a whole video on that, but I'll stick to this point. The point is that knowing yourself is really important and so knowing yourself and what works for you is really important with this question because if you are motivated by the days counting up and you are motivated by that year and you are motivated by saying, wow, this is like, you know, really good and count your days.

Absolutely celebrate your success. There is nothing wrong with that. You know, if you're like me where you just had a profound mindset shifting, don't think about it again. Don't think about it again. Don't feel pressure to even know your date. I don't know my date. And you know, yeah, I could look it up, but I never have done that. And I probably won't, you know, and so I think that's, that's a great thing.

I'm reading this book and it's really good book. It's called Better Than Before by Gretchen Roowin. And she talks a lot about different types of people, you know, she kind of categorizes people. And one is I'm a finisher, I'm an open art. And I think that's relevant. Like, you know, if you really like to finish things, then set yourself a goal, set yourself a week long goal or a 30 day goal or a 60 day goal and then promise yourself that you're very mindfully going to go back into the behavior.

The behavior, if at all, set yourself a year long goal, you know, you know, you can do something for 30 days. And that way you're really building on your own desire to finish.

You know, if you're not a finisher, then that might not be as important. And you can just say, look, this is my choice for today. And I'm just going with it as long as this ride takes me.

You know, another thing she has in here is, do I like to take small steps or big steps? Do I like huge profound changes? Or do I like little incremental changes?

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