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Slack.com slash DHQ. Negotiations have begun over the format for the 2020 presidential

debates. The Trump campaign is suggesting four debates to be carried out with a choice

between broad swords and spiked maces, with whoever first has his head crushed or completely

severed, declared the loser and whoever ends up roaring in blood-drenched victory at the

Scarlet sky, securing the right to paint his half-naked body with the guts of his enemy

and rename himself Kratos, God of War. The Biden campaign conversely is requesting a

single debate lasting 17 minutes or until the beginning of nap time, whichever comes

first. The venue will be at the window of Biden's cellar where his face will appear in a mask

and sunglasses so that no one will notice when he's quietly replaced by a younger man

who can still speak a coherent English sentence. The three moderators requested by the Biden

campaign are one, Biden's Daners, whom he fondly refers to as Nana, two old Mr. Willoughby,

who drives the ice cream truck in Biden's neighborhood and frequently offers a candidate

of free-arunch cream popsicle out of pity and three chucked Todd.

Questions are to be asked very slowly in a gentle voice so as not to awaken the candidate

and in the latter part of the debate, questions will be sung to the tune of Bob-Bob-Lakshep

and accompanied by Joe's favorite music box. The Biden campaign reserves the right to

vet questions to ensure they don't include any irrelevant subjects like math or how to

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