EP 91: Emotionally Unavailable Partners: How to Get Out of This Love Trap
Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice
Dr. Morgan Anderson
4.7 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 11 January 2021
⏱️ 21 minutes
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Summary
“Emotionally Unavailable” used to turn me on
It was the challenge for me - and it activated all of my old beliefs about love…
Unhelpful beliefs like:
- “I have to work for emotional intimacy”
- “I have to earn attention, love, and intimacy”
- “If I’m good enough/low maintenance enough I won’t be abandoned”
Emotionally unavailable partners trigger childhood wounds that have never been healed…
And the unconscious wish of the brain is that THIS TIME it could be different
This time we would be loved, we would win the attention and love we so craved in childhood, and if we can do this successfully now, it will somehow make up for all of the times we felt neglected/abandoned as children
In psychoanalysis we call this: “repetition compulsion”
The unconscious secret wish of the ego that through repetition of an unhealthy pattern we may one day “get the desired outcome”
This was me, for years. Repeating the same pattern over and over…
After finally hitting rock bottom (after a decade of unhealthy dating), and then committing to “doing the work” I’m happy to say “emotionally unavailable” doesn’t turn me on anymore
And I can spot it from a mile away ;)
If you resonate with the pain of repeating patterns over and over and getting the same result each time you may be interested in the “Rewiring Your Relationship Blueprint” Masterclass I provided recently.
In the masterclass I talk about why you are attracted to who you’re attracted to, why you keep repeating patterns, and what you can do about it!
Here is the link to the Masterclass so you can take the first step to rewiring your brain for healthy emotionally available love:
https://drmorgancoaching.mykajabi.com/rewiring-your-relationship-blueprint-watch-now
Forever in your corner - Dr. Morgan
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable Podcast with me your host Dr. Morgan Anderson, clinical psychologist, relationship |
| 0:16.5 | coach, love expert, creator of the ESL relationship method, and athletic wear connoisseur. My mission is to help you raise |
| 0:27.4 | yourself worth, have great relationships, and step confidently into the next level of your life. |
| 0:34.0 | Each week, two episodes will air |
| 0:37.0 | featuring expert advice, live coaching, |
| 0:40.0 | and tips showing you exactly how to improve your life and attract great relationships. |
| 0:46.0 | You deserve to feel empowered, secure, and loved. |
| 0:51.0 | So buckle up and let's get vulnerable. |
| 0:56.0 | Okay, all before we get started, I promised myself |
| 0:58.9 | I wouldn't forget to share with you some really important news. I have officially opened the opportunity to |
| 1:07.9 | work with me in the eight-week ESL relationship program. I know it's the holidays coming up and you don't want to |
| 1:17.2 | spend another holiday season alone and |
| 1:25.0 | come up on January 1 without taking |
| 1:28.0 | without taking control of your life |
| 1:31.0 | and working on your relationships. So that's why I've |
| 1:37.7 | officially opened up the opportunity to work with me. There's a limited |
| 1:41.8 | amount of spots. Once the spots are gone, they're gone. So if you're really truly |
| 1:48.0 | serious about getting off the dating roller coaster, you're tired of all the dating games, and you are ready to attract |
| 1:56.5 | that healthy, great relationship. |
| 2:00.4 | This program is for you. If you're tired of picking the wrong guy, |
| 2:06.0 | picking people who won't commit, |
| 2:09.0 | picking people who you feel you can't commit to, |
... |
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