Hi, I'm Brad Robinson, and Morgan is not able to join me today. She's watching our one-year-old son.

Today I want to talk to you, though, about why the betrayed partner struggles without answers.

If you've been in a situation where you're healing from broken trust and healing from infidelity,

you know how crucial this usually is for the betrayed partner.

It's really rare, according to studies and my own experience in working with couples,

for somebody who's been betrayed

to not have questions and then not to struggle with that, those answers. But also, it's really

rare for somebody who's been unfaithful to not struggle with being honest, to not struggle with

trusting the process, because there's a lot of fear of how much is too much.

There's a lot of sometimes challenges and remembering details of things that they're really ashamed

of. And sometimes it's really easy to get into a negative cycle. So I want to get into that

with you today because the biggest thing that we often hear from people who come to our workshops is that we hear over and over again that the betrayed aren't asking for details to punish or control their mate who had the affair.

They're asking because their mind won't rest without answers.

So betrayal leaves them feeling confused, unsafe, and questioning what was real.

And without clear and consistent truth, their imagination fills in the gaps. Trust does stay broken

and healing ultimately stalls. Trust for building stalls, the ability to forgive stalls as well,

and at the same time, they don't necessarily

want to know every single detail. Some do. Most don't. But they do want to know a lot of information.

And they want the kind of honesty that restores safety instead of causing more harm. So over time,

what we've learned is that these needs follow clear patterns. So what I'm

going to get into with you today are the most common things that the betrayed partner has told us

that they want the unfaithful to understand about why the details of the affair matter so much,

...