This episode is brought to you by Slack. With Slack, you can bring all your people and

tools together in one place. It's your digital HQ where you can increase productivity,

enable flexibility and automate workflows. Plus, Slack is full of game-changing features

like huddles for quick check-ins or Slack Connect, which helps you connect with partners

inside and outside of your company. Slack, where the future works. Get started at

Slack.com slash DHQ. The nation and indeed the world continue to be shaken by the Chinese

flu as emergency measures go into effect. Americans have been forced to abandon their delightfully

degrading pleasures and sink instead into the drab moral wasteland of family life and

self-reflection. Cracks are beginning to appear in the social fabric as women are drawn

away from important jobs, creating compliant systems on computers and plunged into the

drudgery of co-creating the minds and souls of their children in order to bring love and

decency into a new generation. Men in home quarantine can't find even 10 minutes of privacy

in which to look at porn and instead must satisfy their natural cravings on the bodies

of wives who keep annoying them with their reality and humanity. And children have been

barred from school where they were learning such important lessons as how to change their

gender while putting a condom on a banana and are now stuck in their homes where they're

in danger of being contaminated with the religious values of their parents. Not to mention

the smallest victims of the epidemic, the infants who are happily enjoying their solitude and

daycare centers must now tolerate the care and love of mothers who just won't leave

them alone. In the political sphere, we're witnessing the complete incompetence of the

Trump administration, which has instituted such ridiculous measures as closing borders

so the disease doesn't spread and bringing financial relief to low-income workers who

...