On the ninth day of infant Christmas an infant gave to me a rebirth

satirical essay that I wrote at BYU in 1996 called The Life in Times of Stephen

Errassus Knutson the third y'all.

Welcome back to Infants on Thrones. I'm Glenn Ausland and I'm going to try something today.

I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know if it's going to work or not, but yeah, that doesn't always

stop us from doing stuff, does it? So I'm going to try this out. When I was a senior at Brigham Young University I took an English class and we're talking

about probably 1996 and it was a satire class and it was my seminar class I think it was called

where I had to write the equivalent of a master's thesis basically for my bachelor's

degree in English and we had some options on what we could do.

We could either write a report or create

some satire of our own.

And so I took the second option and I created a character called Stephen Arrasas Knutson, the third,

that to me epitomized all of the things that I really hated about Mormon culture. I mean I was still a

believing Mormon at this point but I really did not like what I was seeing in

some of the students around me, some of the missionaries

that I'd been mission companions with, and so Stephen Erassus Knutumstam was a way of venting

this.

So what you're about to hear is what I wrote back in 1996. It's, I've used it on blogs. Since then, there may be a handful of people who are familiar with this, but I doubt it.

So, here we go.

The life and times of Stephen Arrasas Canutzen the Third.

Brother Stephen Arastus Canut in the Third was born April 6, 1966 in Sunnyvale, Utah.

The oldest of three children, Stephen lived a life of near perfection, gaining exaltation through translation in the

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