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The State Department has released nearly 4,000 new emails

that Hillary Clinton sent or received

on her private email account

at the address bill suite muffin at aol.com.

The State Department voluntarily released these final emails

in response to a court order,

followed by a SWAT team raid

that led to a standoff and then a shootout,

after which the emails were voluntarily released

by the cold dead fingers of the State Department workers.

Mrs. Clinton, the Democrats presumptive candidate

for Time Offer Good Behavior,

has long maintained that the emails contained

no classified documents,

...