I'm gonna go back to you guys.

I'm gonna go back to you guys.

I'm gonna go back to you guys.

I'm gonna go back to you guys.

I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. I'm gonna go back to you guys. of a lot of changes that have been made in,

our lives are what have you.

So we felt like this was what was necessary to make sure we still get to talk to you all in the way that we do, but also go with the way life is going. So we do want to hear back from you all on that. For sure. We've had a couple of virtual episodes now. Some amazing guests. So definitely make sure you all like and share and comment on all the episodes, whether they're in person or virtual, y'all show us the love, because we're excited to keep bringing you content. We're gonna go ahead and jump into the episode today and it was spurred by some feelings about one of the episodes that we put out a little bit earlier in the season. And so we're going to be talking about just like feelings, expressing yourself, feeling empowered and confident to share how you're feeling and what you're desiring and all of what that looks like. So T.T. Shame, you want to give them a little background about like how this topic came up if we wanted to talk about. Absolutely. So a little while ago, we had a conversation about, you know, the other side of the ring, Nia did some checking in on me about how I was feeling post her engagement. I was just transparent, honest about how I was feeling. Then we talked about like my dating life and my desires, my aid ranges and all that. And that was definitely met with some pushback, right? And what it helped me notice was there are some areas where I still care what people are thinking and how they perceive me. And it's so hard getting on here sometimes and just being as transparent as we are and honest about where we are because when we do that, it does give room for other people to give their opinions. Not that we ask them for it, but because this is a public platform and we put our stuff on social media, obviously you take the good with the bad, right? So some of this stuff that we put out and the things that I talked about, people were telling me, oh, don't rush, don't rush it. It's all God's timing, it's all God's will, all of that. However, comment telling a woman who is almost 36 years old, to not rush love and to be so focused on God, that's the whole point of me being 36, almost 36 years old and not necessarily being married. Now, there are other factors, okay? There are other factors, other life was experienced and all of that stuff, but I think it's incredibly invalidating and rude to tell somebody, don't rush when you don't even know fully what's going on. I think we should get to a point where we allow others to be transparent without trying to correct every step because at this particular point in my life, I promise you I know to be in God's will. I know to do the work of God. I know this and I know that. But to stall me even even the more, that's the whole point.

And while this podcast is very popular because there are so many other women who are being told, oh, wait, wait, don't do anything. Don't put any effort. It'll happen. It'll happen. No, Susan, it doesn't work like that all the time, okay? You asked me one question and I went off on the table. Yeah, no. I think it's good because faith doesn't negate feelings. I feel like we've been taught that. We've been sold that and God created feelings. If he didn't want me to be sad or mad or any of those things, he wouldn't have created them. So he's not surprised at my feelings, nor is he overwhelmed or disqualified to handle them, but he's also not like expecting that I don't have them. And I think that we've misconstrued that to say, well, if you have feelings and you're not walking in faith, know the fact that I have feelings is actually a key indicator that I am walking in faith. Because I said it on a live a little while ago, like we can very easily let our desires just die. We can very easily just say, you know what? Forget it. I don't want that. I'm not desiring that. I'm not believing God for that. But because I am believing God for that, because I am walking this thing out, it's causing feelings to come up. And therefore those feelings should be validated. is's like, Oh, man, you have this desire and you've been having this desire for a while,

and you're still holding on to that desire. That is faith. A long time ago, you could have been like, God is not going to do this for me. Forget it. But because you're still holding on, but you're still working through what that looks like on the human side, I feel like it should be celebrated not just in singleness and dating but just in general because we've also demonized

people who want money.

All this prosperity gospel and got no, no, no, no. It's all right. The Lord wants me to have all my needs taken care of. He provides the needs, you know, the taken care of up the needs. But that don't mean that I got to be broke just because I want, you know, I want to have some. Hello. And go have some being broke. Don't mean I'm close to the guy and have a money. Don't mean that I'm further away from them. So there's a lot of things that we demonize that I just, it's just frustrating because it's like we're humans living this life and we should be experiencing. Sometimes you got to feel the feels. you just gotta feel the feels and keep moving but it's part of the experience.

When. and we should be experiencing. Sometimes you've got to feel the feels. Sometimes you just got to feel the feels and keep moving, but it's part of the experience. When we started this show, did you feel like you have gone through the hurdle of not wanting to express yourself because of how it'll come off? I still think about it. I've gotten a lot better like we just be talking, you know, so I don't put a whole bunch of thought into what it said because it's how I feel. But yeah, it has been frustrating to be misunderstood for things to be misconstrued. But then also just understanding that everybody's walk is different and because their walk is different, the way that they perceive you is going to be different. And so it used to hurt my feelings a lot to see people say certain things like I'll give you an example when we had a real that kind of went viral where I was telling ladies, you know, if your standards are high, keep them there. And we had this flurry of people in our comments saying that we were keeping women single, all women want is money. And just stuff I did not say. And I was so frustrated by it because I'm like, I didn't say that. I didn't mean that we are empowering women. We are not holding them back. And that was frustrating to be misunderstood like that. But ultimately, I think in maturity and just an experience over the years, it's like people are going to think what they think and the right people, the girls who get it get it. It's just hard standing on that at times because the people who don't are incredibly vocal. Because the girls that get it get it and they go on about their business, the ones that don't write prolific dissertations in the comments. Which, and it does sometimes wanna, you know, make you draw back and not be as transparent because it takes a lot to be as honest in transparent as what we are on the show. It takes a lot because we have to think about the other people who are involved in our lives. Like I've had to talk to some of my family members about some of the things that I've said on this show, but it's like this is my experience as well, so I can tell my story, you know what I mean? But I still try to be as respectful to others while honoring myself, but like it's not easy getting one here, talking about these things. So when something is very precious to you and then somebody tries to downplay it or diminish it or demonize it, it is incredibly disheartening. And it makes you not wanna feel the feels, but it's something that my therapist has worked with me on for years.

I've been in active therapy with the same therapist

for a while.

So she's taking me through a lot of iterations of myself. And so part of one of those was like, it's okay to feel your feeling. She just told me today, we were talking about something I had a session. She was like, if you need to cry, you can cry.

And I was just like, no, we need to cry.

It's whatever, you know.

I'm like, no, if you need to cry, you can cry.

Yeah. was like, if you need to cry, you can cry. And I was just like, no, I don't need to cry. This is whatever, you know, I'm like, no,

if you need to cry, you can cry.

And that seems so simple, but for a lot of us,

whether it is a sad emotion, an angry emotion,

...