Ep. 80 Restorative justice: the sacred act of confronting your rapist outside of the legal system with Marlee Liss.

Recovering From Reality

Dear Media, Alexis Haines

Dear, Health & Fitness, From, Education, Naiers, Alexis, Reality, Haines, Media, Recovering

4.8 • 2.1K Ratings

🗓️ 13 July 2020

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week’s episode, I am joined by Marlee Liss, who confronted her rapist through restorative justice. Marlee is a leader in personal healing, a public speaker, and advocate for healing restorative justice. Marlee chose to sit down and confront her rapist through restorative justice, rather than go through with a trial. She is the first to tell you that this method isn’t for everyone, but there is so much to learn from her journey.

In this episode, she shares her extremely profound story and we discuss:

overcoming internalized objectification culture
holding people accountable and having empathy for them
the difference between shame and guilt
what it meant for her to hear her rapist take ownership and apologize
what it means to reclaim your sexuality
how to heal from sexual trauma, and the role of forgiveness in healing
teaching our children about sexual abuse
creating consent culture through integration

You can follow Marlee Liss on Instagram at: @marleeliss and visit www.marleeliss.com to learn more.

Books mentioned:

Until We Reckon by Danielle Sered
Kids books: This is My Body, Red Flag Feelings

Another episode that ties in with today’s topics: Episode 57 with Katie Wilcox

You can follow along with us on Instagram:

@recoveringfromreality

@itsalexishaines

@liferesetcourse

This week's episode is brought to you by: Green Chef:

If you or someone you know needs addiction treatment please visit www.alorecovery.com

Produced by Dear Media

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a deer media production.
0:07.5	Hey, this is Alexis Haines and welcome to Recovering from Reality,
0:11.6	where I illuminate the messy and magical path of coming home to yourself.
0:16.1	Whether you're on the road to recovery, seeking self-care techniques for surviving the
0:20.5	capitalist machine, or just need a moment to remember that you're not alone in your loneliness,
0:26.2	we're serving up the ultimate truth. Your challenges don't define you, how you deal with them does.
0:33.0	So are you ready to recover from reality?
0:39.7	Why is this not more normalized? Like why do people not in the justice system? Like why are we not
0:48.6	mentoring survivors voices and asking these people, like these people who have been so brutally hurt?
0:54.4	Like why are we not asking them what they need and being humans about it?
1:01.2	That was a quick clip from this week's episode with Marley Les,
1:04.4	fair warning to anybody listening right now. This episode goes into depth about sexual assault
1:10.8	and being a sexual assault slash rape survivor. But I do hope that if you can, you'll stick around
1:19.1	because it was truly a transformative episode for me. It was about nine months ago that my husband
1:26.0	sent me this article about this woman, Marley Les, and the article really shook me to my core and
1:36.0	made me have all sorts of feelings and emotions. Basically, Marley was raped and instead of going
1:45.3	through the traditional court system, which she did in the beginning, but then she decided to move
1:51.3	away from it and do this thing called restorative justice. And I'll let her explain that process
1:58.4	because she does such an incredible job doing that. But I will say my initial reaction was,
2:07.6	this is basically a free pass for rapists. That's literally what I thought. I was like how can
2:14.1	you possibly have any healing from going this route? And then when I started to look up the statistics,
2:23.1	it's only about five out of every thousand rapes committed. That's 0.5 percent. That ends in a
	...

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