Okay, class, now I'm going to really tell you why the Santa Claus you all think you believe in is not real, but he was real once.

Who's Santa Claus?

Who are you? Christy? Which one are you? Scooter. Scooter. Sally, dope this guy in. You want me to do what? I want you to dope this guy in. But I can't do that. He doesn't know who Santa is. Fine. I'll tell him. Santa Claus is a mystical man who comes to your house if you're really good, and he gives you a present, and he tells you that he loves you because your parents are dead.

Oh, so he's like the opposite of Crampus. That's who comes to my house.

Crampus is a horrible black demon, who comes to your house and beats you

and tells you that your parents' love for you is false.

Oh, so he's like Uncle Joe.

That's right. Santa Claus wears a big red suit and he lives on the North Pole of Earth if you're good like his presence of all the children.

Does that sound very nice to you, Scooter? I'm feeling caught up. Okay, well let me tell you about the time when Captain Baxter killed him.

Aww. about the time when Captain Baxter killed him. No. Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Sisyphus.

It's five years of the starship's Cisophis.

It's five-year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations,

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

You're listening to the Improvise Star Trek with Matt Young as Captain Julius Valentine Baxter.

Chris Rathchin as First Officer Corbymite Hayes.

Sean Kelly as science officer Crick Watson.

Live next in as Chief Engineer Fritz Fisbinder.

Irene Marquette as Security Officer, Lieutenant Lady Tola.

Nick Wagner as Navigation Officer Charles Lorum.

Mary Kate Walthall as Chief Medical Officer Zarlene Zonelson.

Julia Weiss as Lieutenant King. and Hannah Parsons as Ensign

Cranthus. Today's episode, Santa got run over by a shuttlecraft, was improvised November

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