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Blathering Prevarication III, the editor-in-chief of The New York Times, a former newspaper,

has traced the origins of a poorly cooked steakie had recently back to the institution of American

slavery. Mr. Thirds' comments were part of the Times' 1619 project, which, quote,

aims to reframe American history by tracing everything we don't like back to slavery.

After dining at the elite Midtown Steakhouse American Cut, Mr. Third unleashed a tie-rate

against the restaurant, saying, quote, when I pay over $120 for a steak, I distinctly

ordered medium-rare. I do not expect to see it brought to my table medium-rare, shading

over toward medium. I knew the moment I experienced this travesty that its origins must lie in

America's history of slavery.

Mr. Third went on to pen a 25,000-word essay for the Times Sunday magazine entitled,

Why Can I Get My Rib-I Cooked Away I Want It? Slavery is to blame.

The essay reads in part, quote, perhaps you believe this is a great country founded on

the highest ideals, but that's because you were not forced to suffer the outlandishly

overcooked steak that fell to my last Thursday evening, which, as I'm sure you know, is the

Mades Day Off, unquote. In a speech before the Association of People Who Are Really Virtuous,

despite having had every possible advantage, Mr. Thirds had, quote, the fact that the center

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