New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last subject to availability. New Hampshire goes to the polls today. Stahl

Wurt, New Hampshireites will brave the winter weather in order to put their heads out their

front doors and decide it's too cold to do anything but stay inside and watch Jumanji

and other great films set in their state. Like Jumanji a second time. Early polling shows

that many New Hampshire Democrats will live out the meaning of their creed, live free

or die by voting for Bernie Sanders, who has promised that everyone will be able to live

for free. And as for dying, well the guy 74 lets face it he won't be around forever.

Other New Hampshire voters understand the state slogan differently. They feel that live

free or die means live with personal liberty or die fighting for it. These New Hampshireites

will not be voting for Sanders but will instead tar and feather him and throw him in the

Mary Mack River and pelten with fruit as the current carries him away forever. Meanwhile

the FBI has now confirmed it is officially investigating Sanders opponent Hillary Clinton,

also known by the alias's big hill, hilly ha ha, Scarface Hill and killer hiller. On hearing

of the investigation Mrs. Clinton released a statement to the press which reads quote,

as a former United States senator and secretary of state, I can only say that you will never

take me alive Juman eat lead John Law and I'll see your lousy federal mugs and hell. On

the Republican side 97% of those polls say they'll be voting for Donald Trump, who

is promised to personally beat the crap out of anyone who disagrees with him and then

...